An Infinite Number of Occasional Tables (Les Barker)

I've got an occasional table
There it is over there
You can tell it's an occasional table
Today's its day off, it's a chair

I've got an occasional table
I can't seem to get it to settle
It's all been a bit unexpected
I thought I was buying a kettle

I took it upstairs on the bus
I always get the bus back from town
It was then it turned into a wardrobe
Took six of us to get it back down

I've got an occasional table
But some of the time I've not
I always rush me dinner
You never know how long you've got

I think I might have another
Excuse the element of doubt
It's the kind of occasional table
That's only in when you're out

I thought if I had two they might breed
I really quite fancy a set
But with them both being occasional
I don't think they've actually met

I've got some occasional tables
I'm never quite sure where they are
I'd quite like to have a settee but
So far they've not gone, so far

I think therefore I am
All we believe stems from this
Except my occasional table
Which only occasionally, is

Perhaps there's a parallel universe
Where they all go to live quite a lot
Where they're called usual tables
And only occasionally, not

An infinite number of occasional tables
Well then sure there was always one there
I've got an occasional table
Look, here it is, it's a chair